The Saga of Whiny Bitches, Part 8: Resolutions and etc.

“But how come he doesn’t leave behind a corporal body, you know, like most people and wizards?” Hermione said.

The Saga of Whiny Bitches, Part 7: The Mystery of the Chessboxing

“And now, what are all of these muggles doing here? I shall smite thee to death!” Voldemort said.

The Saga of Whiny Bitches, Part 6: Snape Kills Dumbledore?

So anyway, we arrive at that place where Snape is about to kill Dumbledore, just in time to stop them.

The Saga of Whiny Bitches, Part 5: Enter 1997

So I step out of the car, followed closely by the stowaways. I take a few steps before I realize that Superman (as portrayed by a Reeves) is in my path. OK, I actually walked straight into him, with so much purpose and determination (I had to save a life damnit!) that the man in blue fell on his ass. This momentary brush bugged me so I stopped and looked around to see what it was that happened. I look down to see Superman sobbing into his cape, loudly blowing his nose at regular intervals.

The Saga of Whiny Bitches, Part 4: Trouble -- IN TIME

Just then, as I’m shaking it out, I get a call on my cell phone.

The Saga of Whiny Bitches, Part 3: Welcome to Washington

I arrived in Forks, it didn’t take me long due to my impeccable sense of direction, aided by my impeccable sense of smell. I drove around, looking for some grunge music, when I saw some dude just parked outside of a middle school. He looked like a heroin addict, so I assumed he was going to sell heroin to middle-school students. Not being cool with this, I got out of my car and asked him in some very kind words what his business was.

The Saga of Whiny Bitches, Part 2: We Know Your Love Is Real

It was nice catching up with Starbuck, but I needed to find some hella grungy music, and Starbuck only really listens to the Jonas Brothers, so I couldn’t ask him. I went into the woods to look for the tribe of Sasquatch. It was really my only option, as it was really rainy, and nobody was outside.

The Saga of Whiny Bitches, Part 1: Departure

A hero, a true hero, is a rare thing in this world. Very often it’s simply a misspelling, Hiro, and refers to a little Japanese boy. But when a true hero comes along, one who displays heroism, that is something special.