Sasquatch ... we know your brew is real

 The new label for the imperial stout I recently made.  The picture was inspired by the Patterson Sasquatch image, though hastily redrawn as a silhouette in the "I want to get this done in less than a minute" style.

On the next X-Men: Evolution

Stools

Beer Label

Well, I've been making a lot of beer recently, and because of this, I have created a bunch of labels for said beer.

This may be the first one that doesn't overtly infringe on any sort of copyrights, subtley or overtly (the mention of trader vic's can be little more than free pub (side note, are they still around) and it should be understood as a Warren Zevon reference).

I went back to black and white cos color was simply sapping all of the juice from my printer.

Oh, and yeah, totally doing a lager -- watch out world.  I'll put more on that on my other (mr.serious) blog later.

-- Knuttel

P.S. how about that custom font?

P.P.S. i'm not a real (licensed) doctor (in this country)

Breaking the Breaking wheel explanation

Not really explaining the piece, no sense in doing that.  Once it's out, it's out, and maybe you can guide the discussion (hah, people discussing my writing), but it's not really yours anymore.

Anyway, I had written this in college, senior year to be specific (so 2008).  It was an assignment for a class (in fact, I need to finish more non-assigned stories of mine; maybe the looming hand in deadline just forces me to finish).

Fast forward 3 years (shit, it's really been 3 years) and the Philadelphia DA is going balls out (prolly poor word choice there) against the Philadelphia Archdiocese about molestation and stuff in regards to active clergy.  20-some or 30-some priests are now removed from active duty and I remembered I had written this story about this kind of stuff, I guess.

So there it is.  Maybe I'll edit it later (it hasn't been touched in 3 years, and I have plenty of feedback to make decent changes), but yeah, this is as it was.

Maybe I'll put up more of my old stories later (in fact I wanna say that was one of my reasons for starting this second page).

-- Knuttel

Breaking the Breaking Wheel

The earth was brown. The hills, the fields, everything, brown. Winter was ending and everything was still in the process of thawing out. Small blocks of snow and ice led to black pools and puddles. Some farm animals were out congregating in the fields, black sheep, white sheep, cows. A raven sat on a bare tree branch looking out to the same view I had.

I was driving into the countryside to give a dieing priest his last rites and deathbed confession. It’s kind of funny, giving a priest a deathbed confession. You really wouldn’t figure a priest to be much of a sinner. No, you expect them to be a more upright citizen, an example of how to lead your own life in some ways. I could only imagine his list of sins – Forgive me Father, but I didn’t say my morning prayers yesterday; forgive me Father, but I phoned in last week’s sermon. Sure, we’re all human, but you’d like to think those in service of the Lord try themselves to be a little better, trying as much not to give into certain baneful needs of our mortal shell.

Beer Logo

So I've been brewing a lot of beer recently, and I've been using pretty basic labels (mostly just as identification).  Anyways, a friend of mine told me the idea he had for my logo, and I went about doing in (in MS paint, might actually look better in photoshop, but whatevs, don't have photoshop).  It is quite interesting to see your face right above a set of breasts, drawn or not, I will say that much.  I guess I could list specific styles below the title banner.

-- Knuttel, with thanks to Rob

DMX Legal

I often like to imagine rapper DMX in other professions
--this particular one was inspired by seeing a random (possibly homeless) person walking by, having an argument with themselves while barking (or maybe it was coughing, but it sounded like barking).

Opening Statement:
Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf ... Arf Arf .  arf.  Arf Arf Arf.

Rebuttal:
Your honor, I hardly see how this is relevant or even appropriate, as the defendant is being tried on multiple dog fighting charges.

Cross Examination:
Arf.  Woof Woof.  Bark Bark Bark.

Rebuttal:
Really, I mean, really?  The defendant's counsel has just relieved himself on our table.

Habeus Corpus:
Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf.  Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark.

Rebuttal:
Is Habeus Corpus even a part of the trial process?

Closing Argument:
Clearly you can see this man is innocent.

Rebuttal:
I give up.

DMX Cellular

I often like to imagine rapper DMX in other professions...

"
TALK IS CHEAP MOTHERFUCKER, and now texting is too, unlimited data plans for only 29.99

Y'ALL GONNA MAKE ME TALK ALL NIGHT, UP IN HERE, UP IN HERE, with our monthly minute plan, it doesn't matter when you have to talk

STOP, DROP, TEXT EM UP LIKE A FIEND NOW...

"

My Life Is Jersey Shore

I want what Ronnie And Sammie have #mlijs

I introduce myself by a nickname I gave myself and nobody else uses #mlijs

I consider it a compliment when someone calls me a juicehead #mlijs

When I have to fill out my race on forms I put down "tan" #mlijs

I end my sentances in prepositions #mlijs

I use tanning salons year-round, even when I spend the summer at the shore #mlijs

I bedazzle my underwears #mlijs

GTL #mlijs #gtl

I cockblock my friends when I get shot down #mlijs

It doesn't matter if you're actually strong, just if you look strong #mlijs

I'm actually from New York #mlijs

I want what Ronnie and Sammie had #mlijs

I believe reality tv is a direct pathway to screen acting #mlijs

That girl totally gave me a handy in a bathroom stall at karma #mlijs

Springsteen?  Kevin Smith?  they weren't guidos #mlijs

Yeah im a musician.  i play the turntables #mlijs