“But how come he doesn’t leave behind a corporal body, you know, like most people and wizards?” Hermione said.
“Oh, the answer is quite simple, my dear bookworm, look inside your heart and you’ll find the answer you’ve been looking for,” Dumbledore said.
“Is that the version by Smith or Juarez?” Hermione said.
“There she goes again, always talking about books,” Ron said.
“Hahahahahaha,” Everyone laughed together, happy that the threat was over, and that everybody’s gay wizard professor was safe.
“Wait, how does Dumbledore’s sexual orientation affect the story again?” Harry said.
“Damnit, what did I say about reading what was happening?” I said.
“Sorry.”
“It’s ok. Truth is, Dumbledore’s sexual orientation doesn’t affect the story at all. It doesn’t matter if he was trying to bone Grindenwald or McGonagle. All that matters is that Snape wanted so sweetly to bone Lilly Evans, I mean, Lilly Potter,” I said.
Immediately Harry snapped his head around and asked Dumbledore, “is this true?”
“Yes, my son, I’m afraid it is,” Dumbledore said.
“So Snape offered to protect me and everything because he wanted to bone my mom?”
“Yeah, that sounds about right.”
“God, that is soooo creepy.”
“I’m not saying it isn’t, but damnit his help was useful.”
“I guess so, but it’s still really weird.”
“Ok, I don’t mean to break up this moment, but I should really be getting back to my own time, and I should probably be taking these three back to my time too,” I said.
“Don’t you mean ‘our’ time?” Vampireboy said.
“Shut up.”
So we all walked back to my time traveling Volvo, and re-entered my time. I dropped off those goons and headed back for Philadelphia, filled with an amazing story, sure, but still devoid of hearing any authentic grunge music.
I will tell you that I love you, just to hug you, ‘cos I’m bluffin’ with my muffin, I’m not lying, I’m just stunning with my love glue gunning.
Damnit, what does Nick Fury want now, he is so needy.
“Mathew Knuttel … This. Is. James T … Kirk … of the starship. Enterprise.”
“Oh, hey JT”
“Anyways… we . would. Like to. Congratulate. You on your … successful … mission, saving. Both space, and time.”
“Is there something wrong with the transmission? What’s with all of those pauses?”
“Oh. It’s just nothing… I do it. To add. Drama to . what I. am saying. The crew. Worries I. am have. Ing a stroke.”
“Well thanks, and you should probably get that checked out. Over and out.”
I hung up.
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Moments before on the starship enterprise
“I don’t think we should be playing with space time like this, captain,” Spock said, furrowing his eyebrows and pointy ears.
“What, are you mad, don’t you have any human in you, you damn green blooded ghoul? We HAVE to let him know how awesome he did on this job. If we don’t, the great and wonderous man known as Matthew Knuttel may never be fully realized,” Bones said.
“Gentlemen, please, stop bickering, I, want, to hear, what the . rest of . the crew has to. Say.” Kirk said.
“I think he did wery well, and we should tell him this. Nuclear wessels,” Chekov said.
“Captain, I fail to see how this has to do with our current mission dealing with the Romulan neutral zone,” Sulu said.
“Damnit cap’n, we dun’t have the power to transmit a message across space time like that,” Scotty said.
“Alright men, we HAVE TO DO THIS. The entirety of human civilization, and by extenstion, the Federation of Planets, may rely on this single call,” Kirk said,
Is this the part where I write a crappy prologue and tempt ruining the whole series? Nah.
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